TRAIN THEM UP!

Read Time:4 Minute, 54 Second

How do you deal with a child who is constantly lying to you? Discuss the common reasons for this behavior and how to turn this around. Include everything from kids dealing with controlling behaviors to smothering compulsive lying, to poor communication.

Why was my child lying to me again? I have tried endlessly to teach the value of telling the truth and why it is important. What am I doing wrong and how can I stop this terrible behavior? Maybe your child doesn’t want to speak with you; maybe they lock themselves in their room only to be seen on their way out through the door to school.

Children are born into this world in a sin nature and will do what is in their hearts. An example, a child who realizes that if they cry, pout or even throw a tantrum they can pretty much get what they want. That is called manipulation. This is defined as (manipulate), handle or control, (a tool or mechanism), typically in a skillful manner; control or influence (a person or situation), cleverly, unfairly, or unscrupulously (Oxford Languages). Until the parent chooses to put a stop to the behavior, it will continue and possibly blossom into more dangerous actions such as a negative attitude, rebellion and even self-destructive behaviors.

One of the hardest things to experience is a child who disobeys and/or behaves contrarily to what they have been taught by Godly parents. It is important that parents continue to pray and stand in faith regardless of what children do or don’t do. The Holy Bible tells us in the Amplified version Hebrews 20:38 –But My righteous one (the one justified by faith) shall live by faith, (respecting man’s relationship to God and trusting Him); and if he draws back then my soul has no delight in him.”

There are tools and resources that can help deter such behavior. Dr. Sheryl Brown, LFMT, author of “What All Children Want”, says “it is important to invest in the child’s inner image as opposed to its physical surroundings and it is far more balanced than a child that is taught to depend on their sensory mechanisms (touch, taste, sight, sound and smell). Why? Total dependency on one’s senses based on the situation at hand limits an individual from going beyond the norm in order to experience the impossibilities.” (What All Children Want, pp. 1, Sheryl L. Brown, LFMT).

Helping the child change its thinking will place the child on a more positive uplifting path. Take for instance, Philippians 4:13 says, I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me. Helping children to take the focus off them and focus on the person of Jesus Christ will help to build character, honor and integrity. There are many scriptures that would not only change the thinking of the child but the motivation of the heart’s intent. Parents can read the Bible to their children, explaining on their level what the word of God means.

The Word of God is alive and it has the ability to produce into which it is sent God says so in – Isaiah 55:11. Parents can also decree and declare affirmations, spoken in faith, from the bible over their children. It is simply amazing how the word of God can change the heart of a child.

Providing structure and discipline for children such a specific bible study and prayer time will assist in the children maturity and growth, it will also help them to develop a close relationship with the Lord.

Communication is another key to developing a strong relationship with your children. From an early age find out the child love language. In the book, The Five Love languages of Children, it identifies primary ways children and parents can understand each other. Physical touches are what kids’ love the most and this could include; hugs by their parents to show that they care; words of affirmation are a powerful tool to help a kid grow into a mighty champion!

Kids will take on any challenge believing they can with the support of their parent(s). But when negative words become prevalent, it will break their heart and their spirit, they may reach out to others to find acceptance which in turn may influence them towards negativity such as gangs, shatter their esteem and cause possible self-hatred and even rejection of self. Spend quality time with your child, no matter how busy you may be, you will need to find the time to be with them. Spending time says, “You are important to me”.

When a child receives a gift from a parent, it may send them to the moon and back with great joy! It signifies that they are thought about and cared for. Helping kids with homework, chores, and projects is a way to show that they are loved. These are Acts of service. (The Five Love Languages of Children, pp. 31-96, Chapman and Campbell).

Train up a child in the way it should go, (teaching him to seek God’s wisdom and will for his abilities and talents), even when it is older it will not depart from it. (Proverbs 22:6 AMP). As what you put in your child when they are younger, it becomes interesting how the teachings, affirmations will return to their minds when storms arise. It is not too late to begin to pray in faith and believe the word of God concerning our children. Communicate with them and know and understand the love language of their heart. This is just a starter to where the Lord wants to take you and your children with Him. It takes time, effort and work and it is definitely worth it.