Overcoming Low Self- Esteem – Practical steps to overcoming adversity!
Self-Esteem is defined as confidence in one’s own worth or abilities; self-respect; pride, faith in oneself; self-confidence, self-assurance. (Google Dictionary)
The inability to believe in one self; the inability to believe the good news about oneself; no faith in one self and even possibly G-d; no assurance in one’s own abilities. (Hopefull Messenger)
If you have ever experienced rejection, abused or even victimized by abuse? Then you would know what is like to feel like the lowest of low. I personally know in my life, self-esteem for me lower than the floor! I felt as if I was the dirt under the rug! I could not believe that I could ever be accepted just as I was. At the time I believed, who would want to have anything to do with me? Any thoughts of true, real love and acceptance was not acceptable to me. It was the kind of thing I kept away from my mind and heart. I would not permit myself to hone in on anything that would give me hope! I had been so infiltrated with fear that I believed everything from the stand point of fear. You see I could not believe that I was worthy of loving. As a result of believing and carrying this baggage, I became afraid to live. Someone wanting to do something for me was something my mind could not conceive. If someone did, said or gave something to me out of kindness, I assumed there was something attached to the gift. There was always a catch. Trust was NOT in my vocabulary. If it was it was a straight joke to me. Being confident in myself and abilities was not something I aimed for or even dreamed of. My life was based on survival, that is living from one day to the next.
If at this point you are asking, how did I get out of having a low self-esteem? I had to recognize that it was a mindset. A mindset is anything that you believe and adhere to that becomes a part of who you are or literally makes you who you are. At the time, it was my mindset that was bringing me down and keeping me there. My frame of mind was based on fear and on pride. Fear because of how I’d been treated in the past and pride because I did not believe or trust anyone could help me be free. You see I’d made up my mind, there was no way I was going to let anyone hurt me again.
Once I recognized and acknowledged that my current mindset had to change. This began my journey for a new way of thinking. Understand, that the world did not revolve around me, but in my own way I believed it did. Although, I was trying my best not to be seen, there was no room for others. I had to come to realize that I could not do “life” on my own. In other words, you have to be ready to change. One, recognize that you need to change and two realize you will need others to live.
Love thy neighbors as thy love thyself (Matthew 19:19). How could I love others when I could not even love myself! Not to mention, I did not know what that meant. Self-ridicule, self-hatred, self-loathing, self-centered this was me in a nutshell. I was a wounded soul that needed to understand what real love was. It took some time for me to understand what it meant to love myself. But by this time, I’d surrounded myself with good people who really cared about me and was interested in me as a person. Remember, I wanted to change and I wanted better for my life. As I permitted my heart to open to the things of God, my heart and outlook on life began to change. As I studied, meditated and listened to the Word of God, my heart took on a new life. Love, God’s love pursued me and would not let me go! It had wrapped its arms around my heart and had taken away the pain and remolded my heart to something fresh and new.
There are 3 by 5 cards waiting for you with your name on it. Put these cards, with scriptures and positive affirmations on your bathroom mirror, on the refrigerator, keep copies in your car. These cards should be filled with scriptures of what God says about you. “Greater is He that is in me than he that is in the world.” 1 John 4:4. The goal is to change how you think. Take out the old and put on the new, And with all of this pray and seek God’s face. Believe Him for the change. You must worship Him as if your life depended on it. You know actually, it does.
In closing, in order to overcome the mentality of low self-esteem: recognize that you have a low self-esteem, be willing to change, even desperate to change. Acknowledge that you need others to help you. Surround your self with positive, uplifting people. That may be one person in your life. Also, encourage yourself. On 3 by 5 cards, post scriptures on your mirror, in your car, encourage yourself and believe what you are saying. King David encouraged himself. Pray and believe, worship and praise the King of Kings. I encourage you to start the journey now. Life is too short not enjoy every day to the fullest!
Davina Stallworth is
Author: Shift! From fear to Faith!
Photos By: Team Jones Photography