Overcoming Loss: Two Formulas

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Almost 5 years ago, I lost my Dad. At that time, I was 15 years old. My mum was always crying, and my older siblings were constantly pretending everything was fine. Which I knew it wasn’t, and seriously, I was not happy either. But I knew one thing for sure: If I kept going like this, I’d wind up like so many teenagers who have suffered loss and are constantly angry, lashing out at others for no reason.

Hence, I obeyed two formulas that have helped me become the person I’m today. And if you obey these two formulas which I’ve outlined in this piece, you too will overcome your loss, just as I did.

The first formula is to accept your loss. I have been there. This may not be easy the way friends used to suggest. But, refusing to acknowledge the circumstance will expose you to a great deal of emotional distress and sorrow. So you must embrace all of your emotions by putting them into words, if possible, or talking about them with friends and learning to live with them.

You must understand that you can’t change the past unless time travel really exists. A German philosopher once said: life is understood backwards but must be lived forward. Therefore, accepting loss brings about inner serenity, which is the only way to move to the next formula. It took me up to six months to accept my Dad’s.

The next formula is productivity? Losing one of my breadwinners in the family, especially the one whom I was very close to, is not something to joke but I knew I had to be productive. If I had been playing before, I knew I needed to make a permanent adjustment. Of course, I can’t moan for life. I have to acknowledge that my dad has been gone forever, and he loves me, and he will also want me to be productive.

So, even though I was still in high school at that time, I needed to set both long-term and short-term goals. Setting short and long-term goals will help you overcome your loss. I tried it, and it worked.

Also, you have to understand that the person you’ve lost genuinely cares about you and wants you to be productive so you can move on. However, hiding behind productivity, either by distracting yourself from your own emotions or by taking care of everyone else, will never be enough to compensate for your loss. This will not only cause you greater emotional distress, but it will also trigger emotional trauma in your loved ones. I still can’t believe it’s been almost five years since I lost my dad.

Time really flies, and I’m grateful for what I’ve accomplished. My content and words have touched people all around the globe as a writer and speaker. I’m a medical student as well. And I’m glad to say that these two formulas have helped me overcome my loss: accepting it and being productive.